“God has set the type of marriage everywhere throughout the creation. --Every creature seeks its perfection in another. --The very heavens and earth picture it to us.” Martin Luther
TEAMS: We had a good week with our Oregon Team. Their hospital project was to help us create a minor theatre (operating room) out of our old laboratory. They did a bit of painting of our new Rehab, Chest Clinic, and Debt Team building. They paid for and went on a Bush Clinic – a free clinic that is done in an especially needy area. The clinic was held in Ndoleli where they saw over 425 patients but ran out of medications and had to turn many away. They also built an AIDS Orphan’s home. We are so grateful for the medical supplies and many other things they brought that will help us this year and for the love and hope they gave to each of us. What a blessing our mission work teams are to the hospital.
Saturday my sister and her family arrived and we have had such a wonderful time. They are building an office, helped create a side walk by digging out the dirt and then filling the path with big rocks. They have also worked on an AIDS Orphan’s home. What an incredible blessing it is to have family visit you when you live 8000 miles away from them. We leave with them on safari this Friday and Bill and I will not be back until 21 July 08.
WEDDINGS: This year our Chaplains Department has decided it is important to follow the Standing Orders of the Methodist Church of Kenya. To be hired, promoted, or sent for training a staff member at Maua Methodist Hospital must be a full member of his/her church. To be a full member of most churches in Kenya, and certainly the Methodist Church, you have to be married in the church. I had always assumed the majority of our staff had been married in the church but I am learning that isn’t the case. Most people are married, traditionally married, and now must be married in the church.
I had assumed that most of the staff members that needed a church wedding would have a “mass wedding”. A mass wedding happens within a Sunday morning worship service. The couples usually buy a new suit for the man and woman and at St. Joseph’s Methodist Church, Salome, the hospital kitchen in-charge, bakes one cake that we all taste after the worship service. We have seen three couples married in the church at the same time and found it a wonderful, inexpensive way to marry.
However, the top of my bedroom dresser is filling up with wedding invitations and pre-wedding invitations as some of our staff chose to have a ‘big’ church wedding that is somewhat like a US wedding with wonderful Kenyan touches.
Sat. 21 June, I attended the wedding of a staff member. The wife is a member of the Hospital Quality Improvement Team so we spend hours together. Her husband had come to our home the day before to ask if they could take the wedding pictures around our home as they thought we had such a photogenic compound. We felt very honored. The wedding invitation had stated the wedding would start at 10am. I was quite sure it wouldn’t start on time so I talked to several people. Dr. Claire Smithson told me she was going and had a colleague who would call her when it was time to go and then she would call me.
I went to my office to work around 9:30am all dressed for the wedding. I was working away when I heard some loud noise and wondered if it was the wedding party. It was 11:30am. I tried to call Dr. Claire but her phone wasn’t working and I assumed she couldn’t reach me so I dashed out of my office and ran to the church. When I arrived at the front gate of St. Joseph’s Methodist Church, there were two young men I knew. As I looked past them I noticed no one was around. They told me no one had arrived yet but hopefully they would by 12noon. I returned to my office to work. At 1pm I walked home to have lunch with Bill. As I was fixing my sandwich the phone rang and it was Dr. Claire. I quickly ate my sandwich and rushed off to the church. When I arrived there was a relatively small crowd in the church, the two young men I had met at 11:30am were singing songs and I saw the wedding party. I went in and sat by Dr. Claire. After numerous songs the groomsmen and brides-maids were invited into the church. There were four of them. The bridesmaids were wearing lovely maroon colored dresses and the groomsmen were in grey suits. After sometime the groom was invited in and he was accompanied by what we would call the Best Man. Later the bride was asked to come in and she started in but for some reason turned around and we waited another 15 minutes for her entrance with her Maid of Honor. The bride was in a beautiful white dress, US style. The bride and groom met at the front of the church and then sat down in two chairs. There was a song sung by the congregation, prayers and scripture read.
Bride reading vows Bride, groom and their son
After this the groom and bride rose and stood together to repeat their vows. To my surprise the British Methodist Church wedding service and vows were used. This couple have been married traditionally for several years and have a son. It doesn’t seem appropriate not to acknowledge their commitment for those years and life together. However, they repeated the vows and when they completed one of their nephews pulled a children’s car down the aisle with his sister in the driver’s seat. Noreen, 2 ½ years old, was carrying the ring. She handed it to her brother and he gave it to the groom for the bride. Then the parents were called forward and introduced to their son-in-law and daughter-in-law. The parents beamed with joy and pride. The parents and bride and groom returned to their seats and we had a 30 minute sermon about the need to have God as the center of a marriage. Following the sermon the pastor explained that he had a copy of their registration as a married couple. This paper went to the couple and the copy went to Nairobi to be officially filed. He then handed the form to the bride. She took the form, folded it and placed it in the inside pocket of the groom’s coat. (The act of putting the form in the husbands pocket is equivalent to the groom kissing his bride in our tradition.) The pastor then announced them as an officially married couple and hand in hand they left the church followed by the bride’s maids and groomsmen.
Ring bearer in car being pulled by brother Bride and groom in Jeep to drive around Maua
Before anyone could leave, the young man in-charge of the wedding transportation, stood to explain what would happen now and in what vehicle all the different groups of people would drive around Maua. First the bride and groom would be in a Jeep that had no top so “the groom could show off his beautiful bride and the wedding dress as they drove through Maua.” The parents were in another vehicle and the license number was given. Then the vehicles for the bride’s maids and groomsmen, family members, special family friends were given with license numbers. All other guests would be in a bus.
Immediately following the church ceremony there were group pictures. The first group was the pastors and elected officials of the church. Then came the Board members of the Maua Methodist SACCO, where the groom is In-charge, followed by the staff of Maua Methodist Hospital, where the bride works. I left after that, approximately 3:45pm but there were still several groups that would have their pictures taken. After those group pictures everyone loaded into the appropriate vehicle and drove up and down the major road in Maua two times.
When that was finished everyone was invited to the School of Nursing grounds for the reception. However, the bride and groom went directly to our house for pictures in our yard. After numerous pictures of them together and separated, one with him chasing her around a bush, with them seated and standing up, the other wedding participants arrived and pictures were taken in our front yard, side yard, and back yard.
Bride and groom Most of the wedding party
Bill and I left the house to meet the mission work team around 5:15pm and pictures were still being taken. Thus I imagine the wedding party would arrive at their reception around 5:30pm which would only give them one hour as by 6:30pm the sun is almost down and it is dark. Everyone needs to leave before it gets too dark as most people would walk home. Also, there are no lights in the School of Nursing field.
It was a wonderful wedding and I was so glad I had the opportunity to attend. However, most the staff who need to be married cannot afford this type of wedding ceremony. To my delight our senior pastor announced on the following Sunday that there would be mass weddings in the church using a new wedding service that acknowledged the traditional wedding and the years spent as a committed couple. I look forward to being a part of those mass weddings.
For the type of wedding I have written about, the couple asks friends, relative, and co-workers to help them pay for the wedding. They appoint a Pre-wedding committee to help them and that committee meets weekly for months. Traditionally no gifts are given the bride and groom. The groom is required to pay a bride price and pay for the wedding so often the couple starts their married life with very little money or “things”. A bride price differs greatly dependent on the village or area the woman comes from, how much the family has paid for education, medical bills, etc., and the skills or beauty of the woman.
Girl babies are a burden to many poor families. Her only worth is the bride price as once she is married to her husband, she belongs to his family and will be required to care for his family and have little to do with her family. Often part of the bride price is a yearly gift (a container of good honey) that must be given to the parents to guarantee they see their daughter and future grandchildren at least yearly.
Traditionally there is no honeymoon. It is in recent years that a few of the rich are going on a honeymoon. In fact, one night in a hotel would be more than most couples could afford.
We are always a bit sad when Kenyan’s abandon their own traditions and adopt ours, especially when they cost so much money. However, Kenyan’s are so relational that I often think they would prefer to pay for a celebration that includes food and fun for all their friends and family then have something for themselves. We still have so much to learn from our Kenyan friends and co-workers and are so grateful for the opportunity to live with them and learn from them.
In His grip,
Jerri & Bill Savutosavuto@maf.or.keMaua Methodist HospitalBox 63, Maua 60600Igembe, Kenya
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